Shrekposting Following Another 8 Hour Shift
Shrekposting Following Another 8 Hour Shift
Blog Article
Man, this schlep really wastes. I'm so dead I could just curl up. All I wanna do is chug some coffee and stare at the internet for days. But first, gotta post a few Lord Farquaad memes to defeat the struggle. Life is a real journey, man.
The corporate ladder is just a staircase to Shrek's swamp
Sure, they tell you it's all about ambition, about climbing to the top and ruling your little domain. They paint a picture of success, but let me tell you, that shiny penthouse suite with its panoramic view? It's just another lonely tower in Shrek's swamp.
You're going to long hours, power lunches that go nowhere, and a never-ending parade of backstabbing coworkers. Your aspirations? They'll get swallowed up in the mire like another unfortunate tourist who wandered into this wretched swamp.
- And don't even get me started on the dress code. You think your power attire will impress anyone down here?
- Trust me, you'll be wishing for a good pair of wellies
When you find yourself climbing that ladder, pause and ask yourself: Is this really what I want? Or am I just bamboozled by the system, only to end up like every other lost soul in Shrek's swamp?
Heading: "Important Meeting" - My Being: "Like an Onion, Shrek."
You know that feeling when your manager sends out an email with/about/regarding a meeting and the subject line just screams "urgency/importance/significance"? Yeah, well, my soul is currently experiencing something akin to a fictional onion. Layered with anxiety/dread/a healthy dose of WTF, each layer reveals/hides/uncovers another questionable/confusing/intriguing detail about the meeting's purpose.
Is it a performance review? A team-building exercise/activity/nightmare? Or, perhaps, the unveiling of a revolutionary/disastrous/slightly off-brand new company initiative? Honestly, at this point, I wouldn't be surprised if it was a meeting about how to best prepare for/survive/celebrate an alien invasion.
- I need coffee. Like, a metric ton of coffee.
- Maybe I should busy with something else.
- Should I even bother checking the calendar for next week?
This Spreadsheet Could Be Done Faster With Titan Power
Look, this spreadsheet is a real pain. I'm drowning in data and formulas, my brain is fried, and the deadline is looming like a hungry goblin. It would just need some serious muscle to get this thing done. I'm talking about the kind of power that only a titan possesses. This ain't a job for your average office worker, this is heavy lifting stuff.
- Perhaps it's time to a team of orcs?
- This document demands a forklift
- I'm gonna need extra hours
Weekend? Nah, I'm Just Going Back to My Layer Cake of Papers
The idea of chilling out this weekend is just absurd. My desk is currently a shrek fortress of documents, each one demanding my undivided care. Honestly, I'm more excited about tackling this pile of assignments than I am about savoring some Netflix. Maybe a weekend marathon of caffeine and sorting is more my speed.
Full Time Work Makes Me Feel Like a Donkey in a Corporate Stable
I'm stuck in this office machine. Every day feels like I'm trundling along, just another horse in the factory. I'm exhausted from carrying this burden day after day. I long about escaping.
- Maybe I'll become a farmer and actually be around animals that enjoy their work.
- {Or maybe I'll travel the world and finally discover myself.
- {Whatever it is, I know I can't stay here forever.{ It's just not healthy.